Cover Letter for Portfolio

Troy Patterson
Dani Bowlden
Cover letter

    Dear Committee,
The pieces of writing I chose to include in my portfolio were, my annotated bibliography, rhetorical analysis, and my research paper. I chose these pieces because they represent all of the improvements that I have made in my writing this year in English 101. I have never felt that I was a good writer, until now. During high school many of my papers were written quickly just before they were due and I didn't achieve all that I could in the paper, usually getting B’s on the paper. I made a promise to myself that in college, things weren't going to work that way anymore. On the first major writing assignment, the rhetorical analysis, I spent a couple of days collecting all of my thoughts on the paper then editing it until I felt I had met all of the requirements and had a quality paper. After turning in the initial draft, I realized that spending more time on the paper had paid off because of the feedback I received. There were improvements that could be made but it was a very good start. Because of this I learned a lesson for the rest of my college career; spending more time on my papers will get me a better grade. I believe my portfolio should earn an A for its grade because of the time and effort that I put into each of the assignments which developed them into quality papers as well as developed my writing skills.
    As the semester progressed, so have my writing skills. I learned what my strengths and weaknesses were and with each assignment I improved on my weaknesses. I learned that when I made a claim, it wasn't good enough to leave it at that. I had to find reliable sources that could back up what I was saying and cite them correctly. On my annotated bibliography I had improvements to make that were easy enough to correct and I was commended for my efforts.
    I decided to use my researched argument paper, writing assignment three, because I feel it was a stronger piece than writing assignment four and because I feel very strongly about the topics it is concerned with. My introduction on the first draft was not terrible but it wasn't the best either. I summarized a scene from the movie, “Man on Fire”, that exemplified the topics that my paper was going to be concerned about. I needed to revise my thesis because it wasn't very clear and I needed a better map of where I was going with my paper. In my conclusion I also parts to work on like explaining how the movie portrays the problem of veterans not having enough support when they return and what this entails. Afters looking at the peer reviews, I revised both of these parts of the paper and got excellent feedback from other peers.
    After this semester, I believe I am a proficient writer though I know that I have a lot to learn and a lot that I can improve upon. Going forward, I'm going to expand my knowledge on proper citations in different formants and different papers. I also want to improve my ability to edit and revise my own papers to improve efficiency all around. I also want to develop my ability to be more concise so the message I want to get across is received faster.

Happy Readings!
Troy Patterson

Rogerian Argument Draft

Troy Patterson
Dani Bowlden
Rogerian Argument Draft

    Dear Ms. Sycamore,
Marriage may seem like a failed institution and may be a “narrow focus” on marriage which allows for gays to conform to the notion of a long term monogamous relationship simply for the benefits it entails. The majority of the gay movement is centered around assimilating into “straight privilege” and that its all about cultural erasure. I see where this is coming from with a lot of marriages failing in the U.S. with 3.6 divorces per 1,000 population and 6.8 marriages per 1,000 population, so just under half of marriages fail (CDC).
    However, even if this is a “failing institution” that should not preclude gays, or queers as you prefer, from getting married and being recognized as a couple. Being a part of a dominant institution is what the gay rights movement was all about, to not be excluded just because they loved someone of the same gender. The gay movement started simply trying to get equal recognition from the state so that they may receive equal rights such as visiting loved ones in the hospital and healthcare so, there is no cultural erasure occurring. Quite simply I believe that if two people, no matter the gender or transgender, believe they want to spend the rest of their lives together or just need the benefits, they should be allowed to enter into a state recognized relationship or marriage. Straight privilege, which you claim to be the narrow goal of gays, is something that shouldn't be labeled the way you have labeled it. The things you claim to be of straight privilege are things that should be basic rights to any one who is in or wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship. So what I offer as a compromise is that you recognize the fact that the gay movement isn't as big of a deal, meaning not many are opposed to it any more and that its much more widely accepted so the radicals aren't necessary and I will recognize the fact that yes marriage is a failing institution. But, I will continue to hope that gays will support it positively by staying with the one they love and staying true to their promise of a lifelong commitment even if that may not always be the case with straight couples.

            Sincerely Yours,
                Troy Patterson
   

Article featuring the person I wrote the Rogerian Argument against is here:
http://www.npr.org./templates/story/story.php?storyId=127740436

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMLZO-sObzQ - Zach Wahls talking about how his two moms didn't affect him negatively and that it was their commitment to each other.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm CDC; stats on marriage and divorce rates.

Lit review (very) rough draft

Lit Review: This paper will focus on the idea that America needs to provide more support for returning veterans in the form of more readily available, A.A., mental health treatment and more research into the signs of PTSD so that treatment may be administered faster. The specific example from pop culture I’m using is the movie “Man on Fire”. This movie shows a clear example of what veterans deal with (mentally) during and after they serve our country. The themes it presents are alcoholism, suicide and faith.
The first paragraph I have sources that will be discussing alcoholism among veterans. My NCADD source will have information on this and have an example of a real soldier who eventually did get help for his alcoholism. This source also has many statistics on soldiers affected by alcoholism. The stats focus on age, ethnicity and gender. The National Institute of Drug abuse also has many statics about those affected and what is currently being changed in the military to help curb the trend of rising alcoholism.
The next paragraph will focus on suicide among veterans. The article from Gregg Zoroya has statistics and demographics on veterans that commit suicide focusing again on age, ethnicity and gender. The article by Peter Catel from CQR, supports my argument with the example of a young soldier with multiple deployments who eventually did kill himself because he did not get the mental help he needed. This article also discusses what the DoD is doing to try and cut the numbers and also has stats and demographics about injured soldiers having a higher rate of suicide.
Finally, in my last body paragraph I’ll go into detail about how faith is a large portion of mental health treatment and A.A. meetings as well.

Revised Conclusion

       The movie “Man On Fire” explicitly shows why we should help our veterans not only during their service to our country but even after they have served. In this movie, Denzel Washington portrays a war veteran suffering for PTSD is a clear example of what many veterans deal with after they serve. Unlike in this movie, in reality there are many veterans who suffer from PTSD  who do not get psychiatric help and may end up committing suicide, being involved in shootings and continually drinking to numb their memories instead of getting treatment. There needs to be more research into the signs of PTSD and alcoholism so that the preventative care veterans need can be given immediately. As a nation we should provide more support for returning veterans in the form of improved screening for PTSD, easier access to groups like AA and faster mental health treatment.

Conclusion to Research paper

The movie”Man On Fire” explicitly shows why we should not just give the benefit of the doubt to but help our veterans even after they have served our country. In this movie, Denzel Washington portrays a war veteran suffering for PTSD is a clear example of what many veterans deal with after they serve. As a nation we should provide more support for returning veterans in the form of improved screening for PTSD, easier access to groups like AA and faster mental health treatment.

Synthesis matrix for my 4 sources.

4 Sources and Their Summaries

National Institute of Drug Abuse. Topics in Brief: Substance Abuse among the Military, Veterans, and their Families. Apr. 2011
http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/topics-in-brief/substance-abuse-among-military-veterans-their-families

       This article talks about stress put on military members after multiple deployments and the effects the stress has on their mentality and how that is linked to increased drug and alcohol use. The article specifically discusses veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and their post traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries. Not only is alcohol abuse a problem but illegal substances and over the counter drugs, especially prescription pain killers. It goes on to give statistics about drug/alcohol use in returning military personnel, i.e percentages of soldiers that met the criteria for alcohol abuse and percentages concerning members needing mental health treatment. With this information about how multiple deployments, I can tie it all in well with Creasy's (the main character from Man on Fire) story because of his 16 years of service.

National Institute of Drug Abuse. "Substance Abuse in the Military" Mar. 2013 http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/substance-abuse-in-military :
        This source discusses military members and their drug use. Specifically how many members are at risk or do abuse alcohol, how many need mental health. This is important to my research because Creasy from, "Man on Fire", is an alcoholic. The article discusses how combat time plays a big role, and has comparative statistics to civilians. I can use the information from here because of Creasy's extensive military career.

NCADD. "Veterans and Alcohol"(n.d.)
http://www.ncadd.org/index.php/learn-about-alcohol/seniors-vets-and-women/198-veterans-and-alcohol
        This article uses a story of a specific soldier, Anthony Klecker, who had been deployed in Iraq. He suffered from PTSD and tried to drown everything out with alcohol. There are statistics on numbers of soldiers needing alcohol counseling upon returning, as well as those who used alcohol, binge drink and those who heavily drink. All of these apply to Creasy, as he he up late at night drinking and practicing with his weapon.

Zoroya, Gregg. "Suicides of young vets tops those of active duty troops". 10 Jan. 2014.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/10/suicide-veterans-rates-high-prevention/4393547/
        This article discusses the rising rate of suicides in the military, moreover the Army which has had the biggest issue with it so far. Suicide among the younger members (age 18-24) nearly doubled from 2009 to 2011, this is compared to non-military personnel. This goes with Creasy's story well because of his attempted suicide that fails because of a faulty primer which proves to be a turning point at which he begins to recover.

Key words and Annotation

Key Words:
-Alcoholism            -Creasy
- Military                 -Body Guard
-Substance Abuse   - Kidnappings
-Veterans                 -Man on Fire
-Suicide                   -Faith

5 Possible Sources and 1 Annotation:

• http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/topics-in-brief/substance-abuse-among-military-veterans-their-families
• http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/substance-abuse-in-military : This source discusses military members and their drug use. This is important to my research because Creasy from, "Man on Fire", is an alcoholic. The article discusses how combat time plays a big role, and has comparative statistics to civilians. I can use the information from here by tying it into Creasy's extensive military career.

• http://www.cbsnews.com/news/denzel-washington-on-fire/
• http://www.ncadd.org/index.php/learn-about-alcohol/seniors-vets-and-women/198-veterans-and-alcohol
• http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/10/suicide-veterans-rates-high-prevention/4393547/

Possible Topics and Annotation of why Pop Culture is important and how it functions

Possible Topics:
1. How "Man on Fire" presents alcoholism in ex military members.
2. How Walter White from "Breaking Bad" shows devotion to family and desperation.
3. Macklemore and how he portrays sexuality and drug use.

Annotated bibliography:
"The Function of Popular Culture in Society." Web log post. Theory of the Phil. Ed. The Phil. WordPress, 28 Apr. 2011. Web. 19 Feb. 2014. This post is talking about pop cultures importance in society by explaining all of the roles it plays and giving examples of them. Social norms, boundaries in society, rituals created by pop culture, and innovation and social change are discussed as positive things about pop culture which is promoted by social media and the like. Pop culture is a huge driving force behind many social changes in society as well as innovations in technology. One of the main examples given for this is the internet, more specifically streaming videos and broadband. It does talk about a how internet porn helped push those things along but also recognizes that porn probably hasn't helped the advancement of society, but was a driving force. The Phil makes this relate-able straight away by talking about Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and discussing how you can find pop culture anywhere you look.

Analysis of Comedy Sketch involving: Race, gender or class

In Key & Peeles sketch, "East/West College Bowl", they are showcasing the East and West players before the bowl game. The players (all played by Key or Peele) introduce themselves, stating their name and college. According to what we discussed in class, this sketch follows the incongruity example because the names of the players are so incredibly ridiculous that it just doesn't make any sense which is why its funny. That is until the last player for the West introduces himself as, Dan Smith from BYU. The sketch is subversive because it breaks the norms for names, for anyone. And more importantly, over exaggerates African American names which are really unique (an example is Jackmerius Tacktheritrix) compared to generic Caucasian names, i.e Dan Smith. So are the surface it may seem that they're making fun of African American peoples names but deeper down they're making fun of Caucasians names for being so boring.

Song Analysis

In his song "Same Love", Macklemore is making the argument that being homosexual isn't a choice and that love is the same no matter who you love. He is supporting homosexuality which is uncommon in his genre of music and argues for equal rights. "Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen. I might not be the same but that's not important. No freedom til we're equal. Damn right I support it". This is surprisingly close to arguments made during the civil rights movement. He also takes words of the church and uses it against them when they rant on about gays which is only creating more hate, the opposite of what the church supposedly preaches. What it really boils down to, is that being gay isn't a choice or something you can change and that everyone as American citizens deserve  to equal rights. Macklemore even uses words from MLK "no freedom til we're equal". He is saying that we are not truly free until we all have the same rights, not just on paper but in every day society as well.

Rap Song in Academic Language/Academic Discourse

“Get Low” by Lil Jon in Academic Discourse

Chorus
Multiples of three, my lord she is voluptuous
Praying this dame will bring me pleasure of the flesh for yet another eccentric evening
Achieve lower altitude, Achieve lower altitude, Achieve lower altitude, Achieve lower altitude 
Toward the fenestration, toward the dividers
Until the perspiration descends from my nether regions, urging all these trollops into a prone position
Unto all ejaculate fornicators of child bearers, until all ejaculations descend toward the mezzanine
Unto all ejaculate fornicators of child bearers, until all ejaculations descend toward the mezzanine

Verse 1
My excited female acquaintance, so beautifully hygienic
Can she procreate, this conundrum has been harassing me
In my cranium, this female is beautiful!
I have patronized this social hub a plethora of times
Forthwith may I fondle your the gusset of your undergarments
The owner of this establishment asserts that I must regain my composure
The praetorian begins a fracas with me
This African american is more intoxicated than a deranged individual, terrorize me currently
The female becoming rambunctious at the social hub, I mean to say she is putting on a presentation
I enjoy witnessing the opposite sex gyrating their rear end
Disrobing and proceeding forthwith in the nude
My place of residence, hussy do not dishonor this
Forcefully extrude your nether region this direction
Because the Ying Yang twins are in this locale
Lil Jon and the East side boys amidst my ranks
And we all relish espying posterior and breasts
Currently transfer your buttocks in this heading prostitute
And allow me to visualize you achieving lower altitude if you desire this hooligan
Now extend your gyrations to the dance floor
And if your derriere decides to deceive me
You can maintain your derriere where you stand

Well, that's my attempt at it. Hope it was entertaining...

Summary of "Skirt Chasers"

In Julia Serano's, "Skirt Chasers", she discusses how the media portrays the transgender community. More often than not, this is done in a negative way showing the transgenders as villains in disguise and fake both in mainstream media and movies alike. In the movies, they are commonly shown putting on their makeup, feminine attire, etc. One can only draw the conclusion that this only serves to emphasize their fakeness. This also seems to please the public because it depicts the stereotypes becoming true, thus they feel they are right. Oddly the media has only covered male to female transgenders which has led many to believe that there are no transsexual men. However, this is not true as they are "relatively equal" in numbers. The idea that there is no trans men isn't limited to the media either. There are some feminist groups that share the view and have banned transsexual women from their events but, allow drag kings and like to perform at the events. With the limited support they have in society, transgenders are discriminated against with sexist stereotypes that in other situations would be frowned upon.

Defend a word

There are several words that come to mind as "bad" or "offensive" but at one time weren't used in such a way. One of these words is "gay". Traditionally, the word was not used offensively but, in a way to mean happy or joyous times. However, "gay" has taken on a new meaning and an offensive tone. The word "gay" also took on the meaning of homosexual. Nowadays, people use "gay" so much to describe actions, objects and a myriad of other things, that it has lost a lot of the bite it once had. "That's so gay" or the phrase popularized by the movie, The Hangover, "Ha, gay!" are common uses of the word that don't seem to carry a lot of weight as insults any more. It is considered offensive because it is used in name calling towards someone who may or may not actually be homosexual. And first off, calling someone something they're not is usually offensive and maybe hurtful. Then if the person actually is homosexual, they may not be comfortable with it being broadcasted or pointed out that they are homosexual. This word has different meanings and with the meanings can be used in different settings to be either offensive or not. I think that because of this, it can be used in a way that isn't offensive. One of these ways would be if some one was speaking on behalf of the homosexual community. They might say, "We of the gay community [insert statement here]." and this would using the word in a way to describe the whole of the community because it is a word they often associate with and describe themselves as.

Words have more power than we give them credit for. English 101 showed that  in an odd but entertaining way today. Also, this is where I'm supposed to post my homework for that class...very entertaining!